The Looks of a Wife

My boy is 3 months old and I am on maternity leave. I’ll be honest here; there are times when I don’t get out much. It’s not a case of too much to do as such, although moving, cleaning, tidying and looking after a little person whilst always being ready for the school run are a lot of things to fit into a day. I use my 5min intensive work phases for these.

I think that, sometimes, when you work in a job with lots of people around you all the time, you value those times when it is quiet and you don’t need to speak to anyone. It’s a bit of me-time, just that there is more than one person involved in this.

So when you don’t really have any plans, the temptation can be to slouch on the sofa in pajamas all day. Or in those stained tracksuit bottoms which look horrible, but are oh so comfy.

As a wife, I advise against giving in to this, at least on a regular basis.

When we are single and looking for a new partner, what is the first thing we do? We doll up big time – hair done up to perfection, new clothes, heels, make-up, whatever shows our best side to whomever we hope to attract. This carries on all the way through the exciting dating process and the beginning of the relationship.

However, there comes a time, when we get very comfortable. That is a good thing in a way: our true personalities shine through and we see whether we still like each other despite our faults and vices. It is also the time when the baggy jumpers come out, the hair starts getting frazzled and the heels get exchanged for shoes we can actually walk in more comfortable flats.

And when you have a stressful job or are a SAHM with young children, the process of keeping up the look can be tedious. But here’s the thing: our partners liked the way we looked when we first started dating. They probably still think we’re pretty, even with bed hair and baby vomit all over our tops. But they prefer the looks of the girl they first dated, whether they’d ever dare to admit this or not. By the way, the same goes for us: that handsome haircut, that perfectly fitted shirt – they all stood out to us in the first place.

Time changes the way our bodies are shaped and our skin certainly becomes that little bit more saggy as we age. I’m not talking about natural changes due to aging, which I am all for embracing. I’m talking about taking care of yourself.

One thing I try to bear in mind, no matter what my day was like, is that I like to do the best I can for my looks. Be that applying new colour to my roots, straightening my hair or changing outfits before my husband gets home. After all, it’s nice to see us making an effort.

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